Thursday, April 7, 2011

The Pet Peeve of Loud People in Theaters

If you know me, very few things get my blood boiling. You may not have even ever seen me upset.. unless you've been to one of my basketball games or watched a Utah Jazz game with me (I'm sincerely sorry if you have).  Bad referees make me really upset, but I have another pet peeve I would like to speak about today that boils my blood nearly as bad.


(If you don't know what a pet peeve is, here's the wikipedia link)

This Pet named Peeve is the one of  Loud People in Theaters. I recently saw the movie Insidious (read my review here) and the audience was super annoying. Of course, I'm not saying theaters should be completely silent - it's ok to laugh and scream and even whisper something to your friend. I do that, everyone does that. But you know what I'm talking about, those people who are intentionally loud because they think people want to listen to them. To those people, I have a few things to say:



1. I did not pay $8.50 to listen to you.
2. Your jokes are not funny.
3. You cannot foresee the plot better than the people who made it, and no one wants to hear your assumptions.
4. Unless there are blind people in the theater, you have no reason to point out things you see on screen.
5. I'm not quite sure why you paid money to sit in a dark room and just talk to your friend.

To explain how much you bother me, here are a few situations.

1. If life was Grand Theft Auto IV, I would cap you, take your money, and steal your car. Then use that money to buy another movie ticket to that same movie, where hopefully, word has gotten around that I don't mess around.
2. If life was Live Free or Die Hard, I would chase you out of the theater where you would jump into your hover aircraft. I would jump onto your hover aircraft, smash through your window, throw you out, fly your hovercraft to the moon, and watch the movie in silence. (I'll find a way to get the movie there)
3. If life were Westside Story, I may sing a song to you about my displeasure and then challenge you to a highly stylized knife fight. In which, I would win.

Are you catching my drift?

Since life is not any of those situations, I will most likely just sit angrily in my seat and grumble "..shut up..." under my breath.

My point still stands. Comment if you agree!

4 comments:

  1. I once saw a movie with this chicka in the theater who had to foreshadow EVERY event right before it happened. For example, someone was about to say I love you, and she would say (loud enough for everyone to hear in the theater), "oh my gosh she is going to say I love you!" luckily I had already seen the movie, so I started to do the same thing back to her but in a smart ass way...

    Any who. She was a snatch, and I love Jordan;-)

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  2. Jordan, you are funny. I like the idea of movie context based hypothetical situation of how you would deal with the situation. ;)

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  3. Movies are a time to sit down, shut up, whisper a few comments to friends occasionally and rarely, and eat popcorn that cost to much and has deadly amounts of butter and salt, and see a completely non-realistic story through a series of images and sounds, laugh and scream (depending on movie style) and have the most minimum of lights on

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