Friday, January 28, 2011

Insulting the Oscars

Who's excited for the Academy Awards??

Not me.

Here's some reasons why all the best picture nominees SUCK.

Movie #1 - TRUE GRIT

True Grit? More like True Sh**. If I wanted to watch a boring western with cheesy humor I would have watched Shanghai Noon.

Movie #2 - BLACK SWAN

Hey Black Swan, thanks for ruining Natalie Portman for me, forever. I found her more attractive when she had her head shaved on that V movie. And did you even entertain me? No, this was a big Black Yawn.

Movie #3 - 127 Hours

Hey, wanna watch James Franco stuck in a canyon for 127 hours?....

Me neither.

Movie #4 - The Fighter

*In Boston Accent* - "Who wants to watch another boxing movie in here??"

"Not you. Not you. Not you... Not you... Not you.. Not you..... and not me."

Movie #5 - Inception

Here's to a mormon appropriate and less interesting version of "Shutter Island".

Movie # 6 - Toy Story 3

I would have cried more if the kid gave away his iPod.

Movie #7 - The Kids Are Alright

...and me and friends are alright with never watching a movie with Julianne Moore ever again.

Movie #8 - The King's Speech

This movie is called The King's...................................................

Sorry, I just fell asleep while reading the title.

Movie #9 - Winter's Bone

I honestly just found out that this movie existed. No comment.

Movie #10 - The Social Network

A movie with the kid from Zombieland (nerd), A former member of N'Sync (nerd), and the next Peter Parker (super nerd)... Being seen at a screening of The Social Network = SOCIAL SUICIDE. srsly.



With all that said and done, who's up for an Oscar Party?
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9 comments:

  1. Josh and Makenzie PhillipsJanuary 28, 2011 at 12:57 PM

    I cant believe you didn't like True Grit. I am beside myself.

    ReplyDelete
  2. BrynneMacJanuary 28, 2011 at 1:19 PM

    I saw the social network with you. You said you liked it. hahah

    ReplyDelete
  3. bradley jamesJanuary 28, 2011 at 2:05 PM

    Yeah man you've said you liked a couple of these movies haha. I dig true grit, inception, and toy story 3. Even though you're crazy your blog still rocks.

    ReplyDelete
  4. DerekJanuary 28, 2011 at 2:27 PM

    Dude you are such a liar. Like half of those movies up there you said you liked. You're gay.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Jer BearJanuary 28, 2011 at 10:51 PM

    Harsh critic brother. I like a few of those up there, but hey even if you are harsh its cool cuz makin UV better rocks my socks man.

    ReplyDelete
  6. makinUVbetterJanuary 28, 2011 at 11:19 PM

    hahaha. I thought this post would get some haters ;)

    ReplyDelete
  7. BridgetJanuary 29, 2011 at 1:11 AM

    I'm so confused...? I know you liked half of these... What's going on?!

    ReplyDelete
  8. anna maeJanuary 29, 2011 at 4:43 PM

    I HATE YOU, JORDAN!!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. UnknownFebruary 1, 2011 at 8:30 AM

    No, if you want haterz just make a post about fashion and its influences!

    ReplyDelete

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