You have probably had these questions come to mind while sitting at the DMV:
Smile or serious? (and if so, teeth or smirk?)
Hair up or down?
T-shirt or something fancier?
Eyes wide or squinty?
Sometimes, the best way to learn is from other's mistakes:
Let me present to you, Exhibit A: Anna Mae
oh, Anna...
Let's break down what happened here.
THE GOOD.
1. Anna's hair looks natural. No funny business going on here.
2. Good chin definition; remember to stick that chin out.
THE BAD
1. Anna went with the "1/16 smile"... In my findings, if you're gonna smile, GO ALL OUT. Even if you think it makes your cheeks look bigger. Trust me.
2. In an attempt to look flirtatious, or perhaps inquisitive, Anna pulled the "1/2 wink" out of her box of tricks. A rarely used maneuver, that doesn't work for many.
Half winks are hard to pull off.
The results of Anna's misadventures is a Driver's License pic that, let's face it, looks poopy. Now the sad fact of the matter is that Anna is, in fact, an attractive young lady that just did some things wrong. Now she has to live with this picture for the next five years and be identified by it.. poor soul.
Now to Exhibit B: Jordan Carl Martin
Okay, so I don't look amazing.. but I am the opposite of Anna, because I look a LOT worse in real life. Let me tell you my secrets:
1. Chin protruded, covering up my double chin (anna did this well)
2. I wore a white shirt. The white shirt made my pale, red head skin not look as pale.
3. My eyes may be a little bit shut, but it's BOTH of them. A squint is much more acceptable than a half wink.
4. Full smile, my cheeks may look bigger, but at this point, there's not whole lot I can do about that.
Hopefully you have learned something from this - and realize, that even if you have a bad pic for your Driver's License.. At least you don't look as bad as this guy:
I'm sure he's nice.
I'd like to thank Anna Mae Spencer for her willingness to contribute to this post.
This is hilarious Jordan. Thanks for making my day a little bit brighter! Anna your great :).
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. This is my favorite post so far. I don't think you will be able to beat it either. No pressure or anything though.
ReplyDeleteI found this incredibly enlightening in a humorous sort of way. 5 years from now i can put these thoughts into action!
ReplyDeleteI am glad that it is blurry! You can't tell how ACTUALLY retarded I look.
ReplyDeleteToo funny! I always get a good laugh our of your posts, Jord. Anna, you are a good sport! :)
ReplyDeleteI feel like i taught someone who looks suspiciously like the bearded fellow.
ReplyDeleteWeird.
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ReplyDelete