Dolphions

I recently saw the movie, Paul (you can read my review of it here)

The movie is about an alien, and it reminded me of a text I received from Trevor Smith in May of 2008. I woke up to this text and it was so funny that I actually wrote it down in my journal.

The following is an exact transcription of that journal entry:

5-07-08

Text I got from Trevz yesterday.

"I had the funniest dream where you were talking about alien existence and you were saying they can hear us and we can hear them but we choose not to hear them so we never acknowledge their existence and they never acknowledge ours and then you ended your speech. paused. then FREAKED out and yelled "OR ARE WE THE ALIENS?!?!" and I woke up laughing so hard. Funniest part was the fact your dream went on for like 5 minutes and my subconscious couldn't think of the word aliens, so you kept saying Dolphions. a cross between the word Dolphin and Alien I guess. It was hilarious."

I think this picture explains it.

This was and is the funniest text I have ever received. Try your best to beat it.

March

March is great. By now, you've probably already read my post about Mustache March, but that's not the only reason why this month rules.

1. St. Patrick's Day

There's nothing more hilarious than a holiday where you wear green, pinch people who aren't, and look around for hobbits with pots of gold. I'm pretty sure JRR Tolkein came up with this holiday.

2. March Madness

The past couple days have been the first 2 rounds of the NCAA tournament. That's 32 games in 2 days... I honestly haven't left my basement. Even if you don't like sports, it's still fun to fill out a bracket and and see how many you can get right. I have a tradition of getting most of them wrong.

3. Spring Break

You get school off, that's cool. From watching The OC, I've learned that there are many other things that go on during spring break, but not a whole lof of that in Utah.

[I searched "Spring Break" on google images.

All of the pictures that showed up would

not be appropriate for my younger readers.]

BUT, if you search "Spring Break in Utah" - this little wonder comes up.

no, that's not me

Okay, that's 3 reasons why March is cool. Not enough reasons for you?

well, the first of March also marks this classy lady's birthday:

Enjoy your last 12 days of March!

Where Do Babies Come From?

Today in my Human Sexuality class, we were given a lot of different scenarios that we had to answer - one of these scenarios was this:

What if your young child approaches you and asks, "Where do babies come from?"

The popular answer was to tell them a little bit about their bodies, but not to go into detail... blah blah blah. Boring.

I've come up with some surefire ways to get the job done while still having fun.

Makin UV Better's Top 7 Ways to Tell Your Kids About Sex

1. Watch the end of Knocked Up with them.

2. Have them play "The Sims 3" continuously until they have started a family. (Only bathroom breaks)

3. Have a really trendy teenager explain it to them using only acronyms or abbreviations. " lol."

4. Have Christopher Walken explain it to them. He seems to have a touch with children.

5. Watch the entirety of Juno

6. Play them 1 on 1 in basketball. Tell them you will explain a little bit for every shot they make against you.

7. Say, "I'll tell you in a year." [Repeat until they are 18]

Comment any better ideas you have.

Mustache March

The beginning of March marks the beginning of 31 days of facial hair. Be prepared to grow your mustache, if you can - or, if you can't - just sit back and bask in the glory of the stache.

The month in honor of the mustache started hundreds of years ago.

Pictured above is King Juan De Bigote. On March 1, 1637, he announced to his country (Spain) that the weather was now warm enough that beards were forbidden and only the "beard of the upper lip" (as it was called back then) was allowed.

He made this ruling in the hope that it would make his workers more efficient as they plowed in the corn fields. In reality, this is true - lack of wind resistance on the face helped their primary export go up 3%.

The tragedy in this story is that a late spring in Spain that year caused March to be the coldest in history. The King watched as many of his countrymen fell and died with hypothermia. In honor of the deceased, King Bigote vowed to never shave his "upper lip beard" and gave it a new name - the mustache - which directly translates to: the deceased beardless countrymen.

Everyday is Mustache March for Hulk Hogan (a descendant of King Bigote)

Today, many people honor the dead countrymen with their own mustaches. You, too, can show your respect by having some "deceased beardless countrymen" on your upper lip. It's not that much of a sacrifice but it goes a long way.

The website moustachemarch.com recognizes those who show their respect.

see if you can find me by clicking here

Will you pay your respects by growing a mustache?

Have a great Mustache March